Emotional Tuesday.
Today…
It’s Tuesday.
I am 22 wks pregnant and my emotions are unbearable at times.. I can’t believe what happens to us women. Our hormones are intertwined and they seem to be very confused. Happy one moment, mad the next and than you find yourself in a corner crying…
These days are hard. Anything can make me cry, anything can make me mad.. And at the end of the day, I just want to cry. I want to love and laugh through this, but it seems those emotions are in the distance and I just can’t seem to reach them.
As I write this, I am thinking of the list of things that I have allowed trigger not so fun emotions, and in the end, they are all so petty and a waste of time…
Why, why does this season within this special season have to be so hard…
And my husband, yes the man whom I love dearly… He has gone through so much. My emotions are wearing him out. He is lost for words. Lost. I feel so bad and I want to serve and love him well, but I am so lacking. I am thankful he loves me anyways, but than I battle with receiving his love because I feel so terrible abut how I have treated him.. Again can you see, can see the mess that I am.
It’s even comical.. Now if I could just laugh it off and smile and embrace this huge belly. I’m half way and I have another half of this season to go through and I want to embrace it. I want to laugh, love, love this belly that has my little Grey in there, I want to dress fun and adorable to emphasize how excited I am, I want to serve and love my twins well, I want to bless my clients…
And in the end of all of this. Jesus. It’s all about Jesus. He chose me to save, love, forgive, give mercy on my life..He is the reason I am living this life. He is the reason why I can hope for laughter. He is my Jesus who calls me lovely. So Jesus, please bring laughter into my life again, even in the blah moments, and the moments that nothing is going right…
The End.
